SH*T MY RUSSIAN WIFE SAYS

SH*T MY RUSSIAN WIFE SAYS\

She spent seven weeks in Kazakhstan. It’s good to have her back. I had business travel. We had a family reunion. We got pulled between pillar and post since she had been back and I wanted to slow it down. I asked her out on a date. I gave her the choice and she picked the swanky little place we went on our first date ten years ago. She put her time in getting ready, so I was hungry by the time we got there, but boy was it worth it. She was truly stunning in a black summer dress framed by her dark hair and offset by her brilliant smile. She makes even me look good.

I was waxing nostalgic about that first date, and bet her that she was even thinner than she was ten years ago.

And she told me I was older.

It was around then that I considered it unwise to speak to a woman about weight, even as a compliment. Stuck for words, I added the obvious: You are older too.

As I am writing this it occurs to me that bringing up age might not be filling in the hole brought on by weight, but then she rescued me:

You were sexy-old.

Damn right. I stuck my shoulders back a bit. This prize of a woman saving me from myself with her encouraging words. I started to smile, blinded to the fact that I was with a Russian woman, and that was not going to be the end of it.

Now you are just old.